My last day at 44

Today is the day before my birthday. I will be 45 tomorrow.

45 and 44 aren't really that much different, are they? Both are older than I thought. I thought I wouldn't feel "old" until I hit 50, but I surprised myself by feeling that way when I hit 40. Age is only a feeling, of course.

Life expectancy is a hard thing to pinpoint. I know the Center for Disease Control has all kinds of statistics. I looked them up. It seems that the current world lifespan averages around 66. But lifespan differs in different places. Some countries live longer than other countries. And if you make it through puberty at all, you've got a better shot of making it to an older age.

The longest living person lived to be 122. I have no expectations of living that long. Of course, that doesn't take Methusalah into account, that person in the Bible who was supposed to have lived for a few hundred years -- maybe 900? I kinda figure that the math was done wrong on that one.

I think a realistic estimate for me, living in this area, is something like 81 years old or something. But my one Gram lived to be 92. And being optimistic, I prefer to think that I will live to be at least 90. Which, if that is the case, means that this is exactly my half-way year. I can't really have any expectations of longer life than 90. I'm not even sure I'd want to. But with that in mind, I'm exactly middle aged tomorrow. Which, I guess, is better than being old, even though I often feel old. I don't know, can you feel middle aged? I usually only feel old or young, never middle.

On the other hand, I could be way over optimistic. I might not reach 90 at all -- I might get hit by a bus tomorrow. (Which is why if you ever cross the street with me, you'll find I have an overwhelming fear of buses.) (Just kidding.)

But if today was my last day on earth, I must say I've had a good and long life already. Also on those mortality tables, which I looked up here on Wikipedia, they showed how long people of other eras lived. The answer is not too long. Someone in the Bronze age was lucky to make 20. Ancient Greeks and Romans were lucky to make 30. Even someone in the early 1900's was lucky to make 40. So I can't complain about living such a good, easy life, and living it for so long.