Wordless blooms

 

Gardening

I took the day off today to garden.

 

It's supposed to be a beautiful day, in the 60's at least, and I'm so excited to be home! Like usual, I have so much that I hope to accomplish, what is the chance that I'll really get it all in? But my plan is to try to be more structured. I woke up at a decent hour, instead of sleeping the morning away, as I am wont to do. I'm doing all of my computer stuff NOW, and I plan on finishing and then walking AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER :) and working, not playing!

I'm going to need to instill more structure in my life if I am going to lose my job.

Two things I'll miss if I lose my job. No, make that three things.
1. the Money - actually, that was the one I almost forgot about.
2. the Camaraderie
3. the Clock

The clock - the structure - drives me crazy, but it also gets things done. I have a lot to get done at home, but without a deadline or clock to punch, I tend to push things off. There is always tomorrow. Sure, I hate waking up in the morning and then rushing around to get dressed, but when I don't have to, I never really get moving, do I? I meander throughout the day.

The camaraderie - I like the girls I work with. I'm really going to miss them if I lose my job. Sure, I intend to stay in touch with them, but I really won't because I never do. But I'll miss them.

And yeah, of course the money. I haven't even LOOKED at my budget yet, or where I can cut things. I have plenty of ideas about how I can take up my time and earn a little bit here and there, but no ideas about things I can do that will make me a real salary.

Back to the gardening. I want to expand my garden and cut my food bill. I've already started seeds. Today, it's time to clean up the yard and maybe dig a little. I'm going to need help with that, I think. I want to prepare some new beds. I know it's early for that, because the soil is soaked, but maybe things will pull out easier. And it's cool enough that if I work up a sweat it won't be TOO sweaty.

So that's the plan!!! Now. I'm outta here, and I'm NOT checking back in until LATE TONIGHT. :) Enjoy spring!

Storm Aftermath

My neighbor's tree blew...sideways... during the storm. It didn't actually come DOWN, and the roots weren't completely ripped OUT. It was leaning at maybe an 80 degree angle, not the 90 degrees it should have been. My friend didn't even notice, at first.

The tree guys aren't answering the phone, they are SWAMPED right now. And they aren't too interested in propping up a tree.

So my Boy Scout sons rushed to the rescue. "Here I come to save the DAY!" and they got some seriously large rope they'd scavenged, and some hydraulic toy they'd gotten,

 

and straightened the tree out a bit.

I guess the question, though, is NOW WHAT? Do we leave those two trees tied together forever? Probably not.

Wild Weather

 

We had rain and floods, we had winds that uprooted trees, we had more rain, we had thunder and lightening and then we had hail, and then more rain.

We went through the neighborhood, after the worst of it, looking at the mess.

I was pretty happy. I have a tree in my yard that I was sure would go over in a bad storm, and it didn't.
I still want to get rid of it, big sections of it has died. But now, the tree guy is certainly going to be backed up!

Where are we going?

I always want to know what is going to happen next. Even though the tracks are straight, I can't see to the end. Perspective gives me a vanishing point, and I can't see what's ahead. I am trying to focus on the "now." The section of tracks I am standing on. "Is that the light at the end of the tunnel, or the light of an inbound train?"

 

I took this over the weekend. We've been going to the same hotel every year for years and years, for the end of winter ski trip. I had noticed the tracks on the side of the parking lot a while ago, but never explored. This year, I ventured out for a while. Not as far as the guys - I never made it to the trestle bridge at the end, over the river.

I explored at first on my own. I went as far as I felt comfortable, down to where I could see the highway overpass. Not far at all.

The next day, I followed the guys. They went all the way under the highway, and we got to the point where there were signs saying "No Trespassing." It was the trestle bridge, and it didn't look too safe. I got scared and turned back, although I gave Thor the camera. Mostly because I always obey every official sign I read. I am not an explorer.

Choked

 

My life is chock full of so many details, I'm starting to feel choked. I always either have to much to do and not enough time to do it in... a million things swimming through my mind... which actually makes me feel energized... OR I feel the opposite, all the time in the world with nothing to do, and no energy... which feels sad and blue.

Thor takes very nice photos

 

This was from our weekend.

We had a good trip.

I didn't take any on this bridge, because it's not really "me." I got to a certain point, and I stopped, and handed over the camera.

I know, I'm lame.

Groovy

I'm lookin forward to a pretty trippy weekend, man... groovy... Like, wow...

Go ask Alice, I think she'll know

Thanks, Lu, for posting this video on your FB, I really liked it too!

Waiting for a sign

of spring

 

where are all the leaves?
Where is all the sun?
Although it was pretty sunny out today, I guess... but not really the warmth I'm waiting for

When the sun breaks through the clouds, will I be full of energy and ready for the summer?

I'm waiting for the sap to start rising

I'll let you know

Very Important Words of Wisdom

HA! I don't have any. :D

No, really, I just don't have any really good advice. Or anything interesting to say that hasn't already been said. Of course, that doesn't stop me from saying and writing all of the stupid stuff I say and write.

When you hear from someone about something so very tragic, you want to say something that makes it better, but there really isn't anything to say. There is definitely a very worthwhile thought that by listening, you make things better. It's the talking that helps, and nothing I can respond will make it any better. But I don't want to just sit and listen, do I?

Same with a more "fun" conversation. For example: I went to a party this weekend, and I had a lovely time (although I'm pretty certain we over stayed our welcome! OOOps! Sorry about that!) But anyway, the whole small talk chitchat kinda thing was difficult.

I didn't have trouble talking. Oh, no, not me.

I just had trouble saying anything worth listening to.

I feel a little bad for the people at the party, who had to listen to my old tired stories over and over again. Maybe it's been a million times. They've surely heard it all before, but did that stop me? Oh, no, I carry on regardless.

(I apologize to all of you out there, who know me and have listened to me blather on, about repeating myself over and over. And, not only that, I'm sorry for repeating myself.)

I did try to listen attentively and enjoy their stories as well. I tried not to monopolize the conversation. Of course, how well did I do, I have no idea. The bore never knows that they are the bore. I didn't realize I was overstaying our time until we were saying our goodbyes. It really wasn't that late, only about 11.

It seems like I always leave gatherings of people with the feeling of embarrassment, that I was an ass. I thought for a long time it was booze. If I have too much wine or whatever, I feel like I act ridiculous. (Plus, I get sick.) So I've cut back dramatically on any alcohol... and sure enough, it didn't matter. I still felt like an ass. I feel very foolish and stupid, not suave, stylish, and intelligent...I feel like an ass.

I hope it's hormonal. I think it might be.

No... wait... I've got it. I think it might be that I AM an ass. I'm NOT suave, stylish and intelligent. I'm foolish and stupid, and to make it worse, I'm getting old. So ... I'm an OLD ass.

OK, Hopefully that helps. Hopefully I can embrace my inner ass-ishness, and go out and have fun anyway. That's the plan.

And if I'm monopolizing the conversation or overstaying my welcome, just SAY so. I won't mind.

Heee haw. :D

Fuzzy Thoughts

I was thinking back to my childhood, to some very fond memory, and thinking about how long ago it all was, longer and longer every year. And my memories are fuzzy, and I am never sure what I remember and what I am missing.

And I was thinking about other things that are fuzzy in my brain. Things like quantities and distances, which I can never figure; was that a cup of chili I had for lunch or two cups? Was that 100 feet or 100 yards? And that goes along with my lack of a clue if you lose weight or not. You look the same to me if you weigh 170 or 200. I don't really notice that much of a difference.

Can you imagine your soul free without this head to contain it? Free to really know truth and light?

I'm looking forward to that. Enlightenment.