Thursday, December 31, 2009

Happy Blue Moon

 

Tonight is a blue moon - the first blue moon on New Years Eve since 1990, I believe I read somewhere... 1990 was a great year for me, by the way. But I've had a lot of great years, really.

It is also New Year's Eve. I haven't really sat and thought about my resolutions yet. I have to go back to last year's resolutions, and see how THEY worked out. Maybe I won't resolve anything.

It's also my birthday. I'll be 46. A nice round number.

I might write again today; I might not. If I don't get back to blogging today or tomorrow, I hope you all have a great new year. I hope 2010 is a wonderful year for all of us.
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Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Special Delivery - books are here

 

Ms. T. even said she has MORE, once she goes through them!
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How about that!

Of all of these books, probably only about 10 that I've read already!
 

I've got some books to read!
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300 books

I'm waiting with great anticipation
for 300 books
to be delivered to my house
by my father and my oldest son
who went to pick them up
from our dearest neighbor
who moved to a city about 5 hours away.

She's read them already, and
has decided to clean house,
and she has excellent taste in most everything,
so I'm very excited about the books!

I can't even imagine
how many books
300 books
is going to be,
will it fill my living room?

By the way,
I'm not really trying to write a poem.
I'm just excited
and writing in little bursts.

Anyway
As of right now,
every single one of those books
is perfect, and I can't wait to read them all.
When I see them,
they might not be quite as perfect anymore.
Maybe I read some already.
Maybe some will be rather dry,
or about topics I'm uninterested in.


Just like a lottery ticket.
Lottery tickets are perfect when they are unscratched,
purely potential, and a dream of what I could do
if the ticket is a winner.
Or just like an unopened gift,
on Christmas eve,
all anticipation and beautiful paper and bows.

Right this minute, I love every single one of those
300 books.

I'll tell you all about it when they get home tomorrow afternoon.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Christmas Eve Celebration

 

Pierogis and Fishes and family time while everyone waits for Santa!
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Christmas Day

 

Homemade Ravioli, too many cookies, and a lovely time was had by all!
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2 AM

well, almost
but I really don't want to go to sleep
I want to play
or maybe read
My eyes are getting a little heavy
but I don't want to waste a minute of my own time

It seems like every day is very scheduled
and regimented and pre-determined and planned
(you get the idea)
I have very a precise time schedule

Even with being late most days - about 7 minutes every morning -
because it's hard to wind my internal clock -

but every day I hit the alarm clock at the same time, drink my tea at the same time, drag myself to the shower at the same time, rush to the car at the same time, etc, etc, etc... so I'm supposed to always get to bed at the same time, so I can wake up on time...

...boring...

but now, it's vacation time.
So. If I decide to stay up all night long, looking at you-tube videos of people playing covers of rock songs on the violin.
What difference will it make?

Tomorrow, I will wake up late - maybe even after 9, and then drink three big cups of tea right in a row.


I really don't mind work. I like my job and the people I work with.
I just hate the fact that my life is no longer free.
But like Thor says, that's why they call it a job.
So I'll "suck it up." usually.
But not tonight.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Merry Christmas to all!

I hope you get a lot of good things
I hope you are happy, and healthy
I hope you have love and joy and peace
Merry Christmas!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Some Snow

 

Hopefully more to come? Or is it over already?
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Saturday, December 19, 2009

White Christmas

A "White Christmas" with snow on the ground is what everyone says they want. But it's really a little ... inconvenient. It's not something people really want to drive in, and even though it's Christmas, we've got places to go and people to see!

Like last weekend's Christmas party with my Mom's side of the family. Everything was all planned, the food was all prepared. We drove all the way up to their house the night before, and stayed over. But the day of the party, the snow and ice and rain and sleet kept everyone home. We did all party at our own houses, and trade the pictures back and forth... see in this picture, there is the computer? Our family is on the computer. So it's LIKE a family photo with most of us together...


Actually, these photos are missing a lot of people - some who were supposed to be at the party but didn't get in on the photo taking, and a bunch of other people who weren't making the party anyway, because they were too far away.

This is the photo we sent them, with another photo of them in the background, if you look carefully...



We didn't do video conferencing, because we're good, but we're not THAT good :P

Next year, the plan is to celebrate Christmas in July so we don't have to contend with the weather.

Now they are calling for 12 to 20 inches of snow for today and tomorrow. Wow! That's kinda exciting. It should still be on the ground by Christmas, for sure! But right now, I've got stuff to do to get ready, and this snow is NOT what I had in mind! I'll post pictures of the snow later... hope it holds off until I've had a chance to get shopping again!

Friday, December 18, 2009

Nick's Birthday Dinner

... which was also the Venturing Crew's fundraiser... we went to Pizza Uno, near the mall.
So we had plenty of people there to celebrate -- there were other tables of people, not just ours, who we knew; (Like about 15 members of the Jackson Clan - I kid you not!) and 15% of our check went to our Venturing Crew!
 

It was fun!
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Now, make a WISH!

 

He's thinking about it. I wonder what he wished for?
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Thursday, December 17, 2009

Yay Nick!!!

 

My little boy is 17 today!!! and he just got his drivers license!!! His dad took the day off and went with him to the DMV to take the test, and he passed with flying colors.

I am SO NOT READY for him to be driving around by himself...

But, off he goes. He's a good guy, and sensible - I know I can trust his judgement, and long as he keeps PAYING ATTENTION! He's going to do fine, I know, but I'm his mother so I have to worry. And besides that, the TRAFFIC around here is HORRIBLE, so it's not really just HIM that I worry about.

I'll be back with more later, hopefully, unless all of the birthday partying gets too involved. But anyway, Happy Birthday NICK!!!

And Happy Birthday Will and Jan, too - his birthday partners!
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Friday, December 11, 2009

golden ages past

everything is temporary

just like yesterday...love and loss and longing...

 


Time ticks by and things change, which is the way it is supposed to be, and it's all good... but you can't help but feel the loss of ages past...

I haven't been writing too much this week on the blog, but I've been spending a lot of time thinking about my favorite place in the world - KMSR - where I spent last weekend.

On Monday, I came home from KMSR, and found out that the Boy Scout Council is (very probably) going to sell the camp.



I feel such a loss. But it's all part of the loss of the times that I've spent there and can never go back to. I was going to say that time only goes forward... but that isn't even really true.

Time only stands still
it's only right NOW
and right now I'm looking at pictures on my computer.
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Thursday, December 10, 2009

Love and loss and longing

everything is temporary

That's what the philosophers say, right? Live in the now, because the past is gone, the future is an illusion. I'm trying to learn that, because I believe it's true.

My father's father, when he was dying, talked to me about the peach tree he grew. He longed for it. It seemed to symbolize his whole life; he grew it from a peach that he ate. He planted it. He grew it into a tree, and he ate peaches off that tree. His boys ate peaches off that tree. And now, the tree was gone, and he was dying.
He was dying, and that tree was one of the most meaningful things in his life. He missed the tree.
I remember him talking about the tree, and I had no memory of the peach tree. I barely have any memory of exactly what he said about the peach tree. The tree was gone.
And his story, about the peach tree, is also practically gone.

I remember my Grandfather very well. He was an important, although quiet, part of my childhood. He was happy; he was kind. He was earnest. He made me sing "Ain't She Sweet" with him, when I was little. He warmed my milk with a little bit of coffee, because he thought it wasn't good for someone to drink cold milk on a cold day. And he went and got crumb buns at the bakery, because he knew I liked them, and he showed me how to cut them in half, butter the middle, and put the crumb side down on the buttered part, so none of the crumbs fall off. My Grandfather, when he retired, grew beautiful vegetables in a tiny little backyard; tomatoes, and stringbeans, especially. And during the winter, he made photo collages and hung them all over the walls of his garage.

He told me a few stories. He told me that his boys weren't allowed to join the regular little league, because they weren't "white" enough in his neighborhood. They were half italian and half american indian. So he helped start another league for them, where they were allowed to play. And he told me about when he was young, working for the factory - Bristol-Myers -- and he was the elevator operator, and someone was banging on the elevator, "and whaddya know? It was Mr. Bristol, Himself!" And when he was really hard up, and he needed money for his sick wife, Mr. Bristol lent him the money, and he paid it off a little at a time out of his pay check -- but Mr. Bristol gave him a raise, so he didn't really pay, not really.

All of those years and all of those stories of my grandparents, and they are gone. There is a ghost of a memory in my heart of the things that they told me, and the ghost lingers, but they are long gone. It is the way that it is.

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland!

It snowed!
And I was at Camp!
:)



The first snowfall of the season is so wonderful, isn't it? And the fact that I was at camp just makes it better.
The Venturing Crew went to KMSR, which you should already know is my favorite place in the world....
I was a little worried that with so much to do, I'm out of my mind going away for the weekend this time of year. I've gotta get ready for the Holidays!
But the snow really made it FEEL like Christmas!


 
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Thursday, December 03, 2009

AAAAAHHH!!!! Look at the time!!!!!

 

Where is it all going???
Today's Thursday! Where did this week go? I have a ton of things to do, and I haven't finished any of them!
Plus, it's dinner time... and I don't know what I'm cooking! I haven't even thought about it!
I just looked up, and it's almost Christmas. I thought I was doing pretty well with the preparations, and it's almost here already! When will I go Christmas shopping???
I start getting very anxious when I feel like I'm getting behind.

So, I'm getting OFF this computer now. I've gotta get moving, I've got work to do!
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Monday, November 30, 2009

Where will the path lead?

Thanksgiving is over, and the left overs are almost gone. I was very sad today when I threw out a half of a banana cream pie, it was looking a bit gross -- I wish someone would have finished it! Like ME! But now it's time for the feeding frenzy to end until the next holiday hits. Time to eat a bit lighter. I'm happy, though, that MOST of the leftovers were eaten -- not too much went to waste. (Only to waist.) It helped to have plenty of company over the weekend. Like Gram used to say, a woeful waste makes a woeful want. So I'm glad they weren't wasted, and I won't be woeful.



Christmas is coming, and the decorating has begun. I'm quite pleased with the way the house is shaping up so far. This picture was last year -- I really hate to watch, so I didn't take pictures this year. But the lights are all up outside, one small tree is up inside - with another to go - and a few snowflakes are hanging in the windows; and of course as you already know, I have holly on the window sill. I'm not going overboard this year, I'm picking and choosing what I put up. I love lights and glitter and iridescence.


And I'm thinking a lot, as usual. I'm thinking about the past and present and especially the future. Not good, I know -- I should try to live in the RIGHT NOW!!! and mostly, I am very present in the right now. But not completely. I guess the good thing is that I'm not WORRYING about the past and the present and the future, I'm just wondering how it will all unfold.

I'm very happy with my RIGHT NOW. I wouldn't want to change a single thing. (Well, I guess the only thing I would really like to change, is I would like to be able to sleep later. Hehehe.) But aside from that, it's all good.

And I'm not really thinking much about my future, because I'm pretty content with the direction it's been going on so far. But I wonder about the kids -- really, all the kids. My own, and all my other kids who aren't even mine. They are on a pretty good path so far, hopefully.

But now is the time in their lives when every step they take, or don't take, is a decision that they have made. And since you can never see where the path will lead, it's sometimes hard to take the steps that you need to take to get where you want to go...

I worry about whether or not I am influencing them to take a different path then the one they would choose for themselves. It made me start to wonder - do I really believe in fate, or do I really believe we determine our own destiny? And I guess I decided that I believe in a combination of the two.
 
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So here's to following your own path, wherever it may lead. I hope it's lovely.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Time to start decorating!

 

Thanksgiving isn't really completely over. I'm still very thankful for everything!
But Christmas has begun...
Christmas shopping on Black Friday? No thanks, I didn't get up at 3:00 AM for any of those sales. Although I did hit Walmart at about noon to get a new tablecloth and a few other items.
Christmas decorating? Sure! This is my first decoration -- holly brought over on Thanksgiving as a gift from Uncle Jim and Aunt Patricia.
Happy Holidays!
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Thursday, November 26, 2009

A Toast to Thanksgiving, Family and Food!

 
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Waiting patiently

 
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Carving the bird

 

It's Turkey time.
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Dinner is served

 
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Yum!

 
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A walk in the park

 
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Dessert!

 

I'm stuffed, how about you?
Coffee and tea and maybe some more wine.
But -- are you having some? Don't make a pot just for me.
And plenty of sugar and butter in various forms. Especially PIE. And Cookies.

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving too!
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Tuesday, November 24, 2009

The Prayer Book

 

This is the prayer book that was passed down to my family from my father's mother.

Recently, I gave the prayer book back to my Father. He's going to take it to someone at the Smithsonian, to see if they want it, or if it has a value to anyone besides us. It's just falling apart in my bookshelf anyway, and I thought it would be good if someone else got some enjoyment out of it. I took the photo because I thought it would be a good way to remember my "heirloom."

I had a project to do for school, once upon a time, with the boys; it was a creative writing parent/child class. I told my Grandmother's story for that class, so I have a good reference on her life.

My grandmother was born on November 24, 1921, in a house on the Kahnawake Indian reservation just outside of Quebec, Canaca. Her mother and father were Mohawk Iroquois. They had been married when they were about 18, but they separated when my Grandmother was born. It wasn't talked about, so she didn't know the reasons. It may have been because of her father's job. He was an iron worker, and he had to travel. (The Mohawk Iroquois often took jobs as ironworkers, building the skyscrapers and bridges of big cities like Manhattan.)

My Grandmother was named Alliene, but her Indian name was Kanietahawi, which means "brought the snow." She was born on the first snowfall. Gram had her mother give all of the grandchildren indian names, but it was just for fun. My indian name was Full Moon, and my sister is Half Moon. We don't know what that is in Iroquois.

Because the Mohawk were on the East Coast, there was very early contact with missionaries and white settlers, and my family didn't retain any of the original American Indian religion. My Grandmother seemed to be more of a lapsed Catholic than anything else. The prayer book was published in 1879, and it was Catholic. There was a beautiful church at the reservation, and my Grandmother seemed to like visiting it when she went back.

Maybe, if she had stayed on the reservation later in life, she would have learned more about her Native American roots. She was very young when she got married and had her first child, and she lived in New Jersey with my Grandfather's Italian family. An older woman may have questioned her family more about family history. I feel like a lot of that tradition is lost to us.

I don't feel like the book, given to the Smithsonian, would be lost to us. And my Gram, who has passed away a while ago, is still here in spirit.

Happy Birthday, Gram!
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