Friday, October 19, 2007

Still in the middle of a funk.

I'm still in the middle of a funky mood, but that's not to say that I'm actually depressed. Just funky.

I've decided that even though I THOUGHT the ages of the 50's would be the hardest, I was wrong. I'm entitled to be wrong, aren't I? Anyway, it seems that the 40's are a lot harder than I expected. Being 43 sucks. I thought middle age would be fine, but being 50, would be "old," which would be hard.

Being 40 turns out to be much more difficult because it isn't young anymore. But really, I don't feel old yet. But I am. I am old enough to be the parent of someone who is actually already an adult. I remember being 17, like Frankie is now. I was an adult. At least, I thought I was. Frankie is already an adult. Maybe not 100 % sensible, but certainly an adult.

I didn't count on being old before I actually FELT old. But I am and I do.

So here' s hoping that at age 50 I'll already be past all this bull shit, old enough to know better, young enough not to care... for real.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Think you feel old? Wait until you get your Medicaid Card! Or until some one asks you if you are your husbands mother! Now that feels OLD!

Anonymous said...

It must be something in the air! I have been in the same "funk". I don't feel old, don't feel young. Kids don't need me like they used to, they are getting so independent. Is that a good thing???

Ellen