Using blurry photos

 

Whenever I get a photo that I really like, except for the fact that it is really blurry, I like to play with it in Picasa so I can make it look funky. Why trash a perfectly good photo, when I can make it look like I meant for that to happen?

I like this one better now than I did when I took it. Sometimes I'm into a slightly psychedelic look.

Where is AUTUMN?

Yup, I'm still stressing, in case anyone is wondering. (see previous post.)

Anyways... I wanted to write SOMETHING, so usually when you don't know what ELSE to talk about, the weather is a safe topic.

It's October 11th and it's still kinda hot out. What's with the weather? I'm ready for fall already!

The trees around here are still mostly green. All of my plants -- even the weeds -- look chewed up by bugs. I'd like a few crisp fall days now, thank you very much! Then I can start to get into a halloween frame of mind.

I should pull out the halloween decorations. But it still feels like September.

Everything on the Internet is an OPEN BOOK.

I sometimes have these vaguely paranoid feelings. Everyone dislikes me, they are laughing at me behind my back, they are talking about me. These feelings are very hormonal, I think. (And about half the time, I think they are accurate. Everyone really is laughing at me. The other half, I figure no one is really interested enough in my problems and what I am doing, because they are too worried about themselves. Both halves are probably correct.)

Sometimes, I am worried about things going on in my life that I don't know how to control. The things I am worried about go around and around in my mind, and I can't think about much else. I tend to be a very boring conversationalist when this is happening.

Sometimes, because of the stress and the paranoid feelings creeping over me, I want to write a ton of stuff here about what I'm worried about -- or what I did -- or didn't do -- to get some feedback from someone who will tell me I'm NOT an idiot, or I'm right to be stressed out, or whatever. And I really enjoy writing on the blog, and I would love to unload a whole lot of stress here on the web. Have I got STORIES for YOU!

BUT... BUT... BUT... I have to keep remembering that here on the internet everything is public record. And I really don't want to write anything that will be inappropriate and linked to my name for ever. Or anything that will let all of YOU people know why I am an idiot, so you can laugh at me too. Or bore you to tears with MY problems, when I know everyone has their own problems.

And I don't want to complain or stress about my kids, because then THEY might read it and stress themselves.

So some days, I have a lot to say, but I can't really post it. But since it's all I can think about, I can't really post anything else, either.

I thought I needed a photo here.

 

So even though it's not a full moon tonight, I'm posting this one.
I need to take more photos tomorrow,I think. If the camera battery isn't dead.

Lurking

I must admit, I am a lurker.
Lurking is what you are doing when you are reading people's websites but not commenting. Not letting them know you are there.
I love to surf the web, from one site to another. Blogs, web sites, shopping, music, my space, you tube. I'm all over the place.

Usually, I would like to comment. But when I start to write something, for some reason everything I start to write sounds wrong. Often I just give up on commenting when I lurk. Especially when there are already a hundred other comments there.



I surfed in to this web site:
DUTCHCORNER: Treasure to share#links#links#links
which is a site full of beautiful thoughts ...
and found this poem by Khalil Gibran, which is very appropriate for my children, who are getting old...

CHILDREN
By Kahlil Gibran


And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of children."
And he said: Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable


It is a beautiful poem. I didn't find it, Marje from Dutch Corner did. I had heard that one line before, "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth..." But I had never read the complete poem.

Anyway, I did comment this time... but I'm not good at that. So if you find me lurking at your site, please realize it's usually not because I don't like your stuff -- I don't comment because I really don't know what to say.

Crohn's Research Info

The article that follows is information about the new information they are getting about how and why Crohn's works. Since we did the walk-a-thon, I believe we've helped pay for some of these advances -- and I thought I would let you all know! Here is YOUR money at work!
THANK YOU!

Crohn's Research Info

Research - The Latest News
Third Quarter, 2007

Dear friends,

In recent months, we've gained additional important insights into the specifics of how Crohn's disease develops. Having identified many of the genes, immune factors, and bacteria that combine to cause the disease, we're now beginning to understand how these "disease partners" actually work.


Let's look at this emerging picture from several viewpoints:

Bacteria: Normally, the colon and the lower portion of the small intestine are "colonized" by a complex variety of bacteria, viruses, and fungi—collectively called the microbiota. Most of these are harmless, but occasionally, a bacterium can undergo a change and become virulent. Researchers are beginning to understand precisely how a common bug like E. coli can turn aggressive, and how it manages to attach itself to and invade the cells lining the small intestine where it can trigger Crohn's disease in genetically susceptible people.


Immune Dysfunction: Once virulent bacteria invade the intestinal cells, the immune system typically kicks in and mounts an attack to clear them. That's what happens if you're healthy. But if you're genetically predisposed to Crohn's disease, your immune system may get its signals crossed and overreact, leading to uncontrolled inflammation, or conversely, fail to kill the invader, leading to persistent infection.
As we've recently come to understand it, the immune dysfunction seen in Crohn's disease may manifest itself as:

1. a decrease in a person's ability to kill bacteria;
2. an overactive T cell response to bacteria and bacterial antigens;
3. an inability to tolerate the presence of commonly tolerated bacteria; or
3. changes in the intestinal cells that make it easier for bacteria to attach to them.

Genetics: Interestingly, the most recent gene to be implicated in Crohn's disease is ATG16L1, which codes for a protein involved in a process known as autophagy. The word "autophagy" literally means "eating oneself." In biology, it can be understood as the digestion within a cell of materials produced by that cell or from a bacterium engulfed by the cell. In people who have an abnormal variant of ATG16L1, the immune cells responsible for killing bacteria may not be up to the job, and bacteria may resist being destroyed.
The discovery of ATG16L1 fits almost uncannily with recent insights into what goes awry in at least some types of Crohn's disease. A defect in ATG16L1 may lead to problems with autophagy, while a defect in NOD2—the first Crohn's susceptibility gene to be discovered, in 2001—may impair the ability to kill bacteria through another route: by causing a deficit in the secretion of defensins, proteins that specialize in bacterial killing. These two genetic defects correlate with two different routes into the development of Crohn's disease, and with the new molecular insights described above.

It is hoped that a more detailed picture of the biology of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis will shape the search for improved therapies. The more we understand about the many factors that lead to the uncontrolled inflammation seen in these diseases, the more we can target "upstream," pre-inflammatory processes for treatment and nip inflammation in the bud.

Clinical News: One highly promising treatment for Crohn's disease, called natalizumab, has received preliminary endorsement by the FDA's advisory panel and is awaiting final approval. Natalizumab is an antibody against alpha-4 integrin, a protein involved with the recruitment of immune cells to the site of inflammation. Natalizumab blocks that recruitment process, thus short-circuiting the inflammatory response.
If approved, the new drug could be a welcome alternative for people who have not responded well to anti-TNF agents. Currently approved for the treatment of multiple sclerosis (MS), natalizumab was briefly taken off the market because three people developed progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML), a rare brain infection, while taking the drug. For this reason, natalizumab is being used in a very select group of patients with MS who are being monitored very closely for side effects. It will be used similarly in people with Crohn's disease if it receives final FDA approval.

The drug's safety issues have drawn attention to a far broader problem: the anti-inflammatory therapeutic strategy itself. By damping down inflammation, a key function of the immune system, the medications used to treat inflammatory diseases may put patients at risk for infection. The risk may be small, but we should and can do better.

All in all, the news is encouraging. We've already got the big picture, and now we're homing in on the details. And the details are what we need to more fully understand if we're going to find our way to better treatments and, perhaps sooner rather than later, a cure. Please continue to support our efforts to the greatest extent you can. The quality of life of millions of people depends on it.


R. Balfour Sartor, M.D.
Chief Medical Advisor
Crohn's & Colitis Foundation

Campfire

 

Happy 17th Birthday, Frankie!

 
Frankie is 17 years old today.

Actually, this photo was taken yesterday. I decided to have his cake yesterday, the day before his birthday, because today he was taking his drivers test. I assumed that if he PASSED his test, he might not want to be home. And if he FAILED his test, he wouldn't want to talk to anyone.

Well, he passed.

(gulp.)

On the plus side, he did stay home. His friends are all busy anyway, it is a Tuesday night after all.

By the way -- the wine in the glass in front of him isn't his. I'm not letting him drink. It's mine. I'll be needing more wine now, I think.

Moonflower

 

Feather in Grass

 

I really like this photo. I was surprised at how much I liked it. I'm in an artsy mood today, having just gone browsing through three art galleries and innumerable antique shops in Frenchtown and Lambertville.

Although I must say, it doesn't come out as well on the blog as it does in a larger view on my screen in picasa.

Studying on the train.

 

Compare and contrast socialism and capitalism. Labor unions. Taft and Roosevelt. The progressive reforms. And, last but not least, the 16, 17, 18, and 19 amendments to the constitution.
I wasn't studying, I was quizzing Frankie.

Times Square

 
Hey there, Delilah.
Notice the labor strike above Frank's head, below the Panasonic sign?
What does that MEAN?

Waiting for the SHOW

 
Why didn't we get a picture with Tim???

OK, the question was raised -- who is Tim? You can visit Tim at his blog at Donnelly Ink. He's the guy in the music biz who we got to know when Frankie was sick, through a friend of a friend of a friend, who knows Eddie Vedder well enough to ask him to call Frankie -- and have Eddie actually call.

RED CARPET PREMIERE!!!

 

The other day, we got a call out of the blue from Tim Donnelly, who let us know that the recent Pearl Jam DVD -- which he had helped collaborate on -- was being released (which we already knew, of course) -- at a Super Cool premiere in Manhattan at the Ziegfield Theater. He wanted to know if we wanted to go. (Look at these pictures again, and Take a guess.)

The first consideration -- work/school. I'm waking up at such an ungodly hour now (5:30) that I've been going to bed super early. OK, I was fine with that, I can sleep on the train.

Then, Frank's work -- he was definitely interested. He figured he could get out of work on time to make it home and then to the train and then to the theater.

Then, school. It was "back to school night." I wouldn't get to meet the teachers. Not a problem, now that I work there. I can talk to them any time I want to.

Nick had no problem with being out late. He has very light classes this semester. At least, that's what he tells me so far. We'll see how the report card comes in.

The minor sticking point was Frankie. He had a lab report due for physics, and a test in history. But, of course, this was a PEARL JAM movie. So he was in.


We called Tim when we got into the city, and finally had the opportunity to meet him. He was very nice and even gave us the DVD (which we had already ordered, but now Frankie can have his own copy.) Afterwards, we thought to ourselves -- we are such idiots! We should have had him autograph it!

Actually, now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, the director, Danny Clinch, was there as well. We could have had him autograph it too. Oh well.

The theater was GORGEOUS. And we sat down in front, which was great from a concert movie perspective, although I would have liked to see how the audience was reacting, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around.

The movie was beautifully done, great music, beautiful cinematography -- is that how you spell that? Definitely worth it.

Tim mentioned that it was a big day for him, because not only was this project coming out, but on the same day the other disc he was working on -- "Goin' Home, a tribute to Fats Domino" -- was being released. We've ordered that disc too.

We felt like hot shot rock and roll type people, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. Funny enough, when I got home I checked my email. We had a note from Make-a-Wish, inviting us to go on a Yacht tonight. They would even provide transportation.

We had to turn THAT offer down. I can't take too much of this jet set lifestyle!

Ok, how about this???

Will this work?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDorNilxPUY

Uptown Wednesday Night

 
Frank and I took a walk up town tonight, and this is what we saw... except, of course, for the last picture, which is a rainbow I saw the other night.

I posted these in kind of reverse order... I took the photos on the way UP town, not on the way back home. You get the idea, though.

Going up town

 
Under the underpass, heading up to Oak Tree Road.

The corner by Flips, right before the underpass

 

I love the streaky lights.
But this is a really bad intersection. I hate to drive through here.

This is also by the Iselin Fair grounds, which are now mini-mansion lots.

Flips

 
Does anyone recognize Flip's? It used to be a bar. I think before that it was a stage coach house. It was right by the railroad station, before the station moved.

Which leads to the next two questions: What was the name of the OTHER bar, besides the Pioneer, Flips, and Jack and Earls?
and number two: WHERE was Jack and Earl's, exactly? I say it was actually on the corner, diagonal from the old Iselin Theater. Frank says no, it was on the bend right before the light by St. Cecelia's.
Please reply.

There's no place like home!

 

This was taken at home the other evening. It was really humid. I didn't notice the rainbow, but Frank did. I ran in and got the camera... this is not re-touched in any way! (I'll retouch a future one, I think, just to try to intensify it.)

Alphabet meme

OK, so PS Tagged everyone on her blogroll to do this meme. I decided to try it. I've never done a meme before.

I am required by the rules of the meme to tag someone else to do it -- so Sandi and Beth, if you are up to the challenge, consider yourself tagged!

The rules are:
Rule 1: Without changing the first word, after each letter of the alphabet, write a sentence that captures you/your essence.
Rule 2: Tag as many people as you want, but do tag at least one. This is an eye opening experience and can express to those who read it, things about you that they did not really understand before.
Rule 3: List who you are tagging.


*A* Accept everyone for who they are
*B* Break away and take some time for yourself
*C* Create because life is art
*D* Decide not to decide is deciding
*E* Explore the whole world through a book
*F* Forgive yourself for not being everything you should be
*G* Grow a garden of weeds if you like them!
*H* Hope is a feather
*I* Ignore the inner voice telling you what an idiot you are! :)
*J* Journey Time for a road trip!
*K* Know what you need.
*L* Love Loving others is easy -- in the abstract
*M* Manage to survive
*N* Notice the sky
*O* Open that bottle of wine and pour me a glass!
*P* Play let's pretend
*Q* Question reality
*R* Relax and recharge
*S* Share you can't have any if you don't have enough to share!
*T* Try a little harder.
*U* Use what you have to work with. What would McGyver do?
*V* Value yourself
*W* Work is a four letter word!
*X* X-ray vision is not a super power I would want!
*Y* Yield I hate to yield, I'd much rather merge.
*Z* Zoom was a great tv show when we were kids, remember?

Hey, did I ever tell you about Lollapalooza???

 

Well, our whole family bought tickets to Lollapalooza, a weekend outdoor concert festival in Chicago, remember? Well, unfortunately I got a job, so of course I couldn't go. But the rest of them went.

I would have had a great time, I'm sure. It was a very artistic weekend, as you can see from these pictures.

There were bands all weekend.

 
Frank even wrote a poem about it. Yes, HUSBAND Frank. I'm pretty sure he didn't expect me to post it, but I really liked it, so tough. This is it:


POWER OF MUSIC
Festival grass flattened by the masses
flip flops crisscross a field of blankets
Beer putting smiles on everyone's face
Strangers share music then go on their way

Contrast of trees against glass buildings
Gravel dust and mud corralled in by asphalt
Tattoos matching tee shirts reinforce the commitment
Visual advertisments for audible preferences

Two dance in a puddle as if they're alone
Hundreds look on observing the show
Arms pump skyward in time with the beat
Bare legs point downward to shuffling feet

So many different bands, so many different sounds
a patchwork of blankets covering the ground
Some listen intently, only background for some
Conversations begin with where are you from?

Stage lights blink fast, unnatural colors
Revealing other faces just for a moment
Crunchy guitar sounds cut the summer air
The drummer sings wildly; uncontrollable hair

Thousands sing lyrics from the same famous song
Sweaty guys and dirty girls, they all get along
The stage is the hub of harmony, not even one fight
Punctuated with fireworks in the sky of the night

Plastic monoliths lined up in a row
Indescribable smell as they all overflow
Lines form to enter the nickname named john
Their importance increases as the night time wears on

At the end of the day, thousands clear out
Empty cups and lost sandals scattered about
Recycling signs abound, most intentions are good
The field sprouts with plastic, they misunderstood

End of night exit, the cops shut the streets
The army marches out in their souvenir tees
Walking and talking about who was their favorite
Amazing experience, take time to savor it

Say Hi to Al.

 
Al took my place, since I had to work.

Al was into some serious photography.

 
He has a major camera and he was working on some very artistic shots.
Nick really got into photography, too, and Al gave him a few tips. Al is also the person who took most of the photos, because he wanted to bring the camera, and I guess Frank didn't want to. Since Al was taking Black and White, we have more black and white photos than color; but it gives everything a very cool look.

Nick at a cheap hotel in Chicago -

 
-- a study in black and white. Copyright Al.

The crowd at Lolla -- many, many stages

 
Frank said that everyone was in a great mood. No one was pushy or nasty or anything, everyone was just thrilled to be there -- kinda like the summer of love or something. Lots of people, though, huh? See the Sears tower in the background?

The boys at the show

 

Pearl Jam Rocks...

 

... here is the view from the cheap seats. Ok, there really were no seats. They enjoyed it, though. But I may have enjoyed it more, because I was watching the video download on line, and I was MUCH closer to the screen than they were to the stage.

Some of the Rafting Photos, Finally!

Ok, Mom SENT the pix.

I just haven't had time to update. Not to mention that I have computer issues AGAIN, or should I say STILL.

I'm GONNA, though!!!

Camping weekend... (but no pictures yet, sorry!) -- MOM - SEND PIX!!!

So we went camping this weekend. It was a great trip and a horrible trip at the same time. Isn't it always? If you camp, you may know what I mean. So many great camping experiences are really hard to get through while they are happening, but are great looking back at. At least, that's the way I've always experienced them. Those really hard trips become especially memorable because of the difficulty.

I can't really figure out why it is that I like to camp. I think maybe it's something in my nature to be opposite of most people, to not like what other people like, just out of spite or something. Like Coach bags. I really COULD like Coach bags, probably, I just don't -- on principle. Too many people around here have them and spend too much money on them for me to want one.

I love camping just out of spite because so many other people hate it, and I'm able to handle it. There aren't many things that are difficult for (many) people that I actually enjoy. Especially if it calls for exercise or hard work or discomfort. And yet, I love to camp. I don't understand why, myself. I don't even like to sit out in my backyard and read on a beautiful spring day. I hate bugs. Pollen drives me out of my mind. So why do I like to camp?

So this camping trip was one I'd been waiting for, for a long time. We went back to the scene of our youth. As an older teen and twenty-something, I used to go with Frank to Dot and Charlie's house in Narrowsburg. Jimmy and Laura would come along, and assorted other people. And sometimes we would stay at Dot and Charlie's, but sometimes we would stay at Bob Landers Campground, and camp and raft.

This was the first time we'd take our children rafting. I don't know why we've waited so long to take them rafting, because it's a great trip for kids, but we never got around to it before.

We invited a bunch of people, and ended up with a good sized group. My family of four, Jimmy and his son James -- Laura didn't make it, or Tara; Ray and his boys, (but Marisa's not that into camping, so she stayed home), Booth -- who's Frankie's friend from Boy Scouts -- asked his God Father to bring him; and I invited my Mom and Dad, who even though they are in their 60's are still very young and are willing to camp. And they know HOW to camp, so they can make themselves reasonably comfortable, which is good. And they don't complain much, which is also good. And they brought my nephew William. (Which is really the only reason they decided to come.)

My Mom and I don't do boats. (Like I said -- alot of things make me uncomfortable, and so I don't do them. Mom and I both get seasick on rocking chairs. We've gotten seasick watching a boat on TV. For real, I'm not kidding.) So the raft wasn't the reason I was there. To get on a boat, I would have to take enough dramamine to make myself sleep through most of the trip, and it just isn't worth it. So Mom and I didn't go.

We went shopping to an antique store, then had a lovely lunch at the Whistle Stop Cafe, and then picked up food for dinner. Then, we went back to the campsite to read our books and wait for the boys to come back down the river, right past our campsite.

When they floated up to the site, after some hours on the river, you could see they had a great time. Mom took some great photos (which I hope she sends me because I'd like to post them!) They had three rafts and tied them all together, and the boys all jumped in and out of the rafts and swam all day...

OK, so that was all the good stuff. And the weather was great, although it was hot as anything, and the company was very pleasant, everyone got along great, and the food was great, and the campfire was great, and no one got injured.

What was the horrible part???

When we were young, we used to come to this campground and party all night. We blasted our music and screamed and laughed. (well, everyone else in our group did, especially Frank. I usually drank a little and got sleepy and went to bed and listened to them scream all night.)

So now that we are old, why should I have been surprised that the campground was still frequented by people who like to party all night long?

Apparently, one of the people in the site next to us was a DJ, because he had an amazing sound system and tons of music. It was like being in a club. Your ears almost hurt to listen to it. I kept thinking that they would HAVE to go to bed EVENTUALLY. (Apparently, I was wrong.)

At 3:00 AM on Friday night, it was really getting aggravating. I didn't HATE the music, but I was pretty tired -- and a bit embarassed that my friends and family, who came on this trip that I had planned, had to put up with the neighbors being SO LOUD. (I was glad that my Mom had thought to bring earplugs, so she was a bit less disturbed -- but actually, she said she could hear the music right through the plugs.)

They finally settled down at 4 AM after one of the guys in our group went over and said something.

Saturday night, it was the same thing. 10:30, I couldn't take it anymore, and I went to complain to the office. I felt aggravated, guilty and hypocritical, and afraid that the neighboring group -- after drinking so long -- would act stupid and fight with us or something. But I complained anyway.

After 11:30, campground security started yelling at them, and after several warnings, I think they finally moved the party to a different location so we could sleep. But all night long, I worried that they were going to be so mad at us that they would retaliate or something. So I didn't sleep anyway.

So that's my camping story for this weekend. I hope to follow it up with some good photos if Mom reads this post and sends them to me...

6:00 AM is just too early.

My alarm clock rings at 6:00 AM. Then again at 6:10 AM. It is a nasty sound and isn't pleasant. I have to get up and go to work. It takes me until 6:15 before I can drag myself out from under the covers. Then, I wander downstairs and lay on the couch until my tea is boiled... I can't hop right in the shower, because I know from past experience that I will fall back asleep standing there.

I like work fine, but I hate waking up! And to make it even worse, these are the summer hours... I don't have to start until 8:00 AM. Starting September 4, I have to be there by 7:00 AM. Which means getting out of bed at 6:15 isn't going to work!

And I've tried going to bed earlier over the last few days. That hasn't been helping either!

Nothing really to say.

No, really, I have nothing much to say at all.

I've gotten a job and that's been keeping me busy. Yes, I really like it. My plan is to make like a barnacle and stick there for the next 25 years or so, so I can retire with a pension. It's a good job with nice people and reasonable responsibility.

Since I got a job, and since I went to the psychic that Sandi goes to and she told me I should do more for myself, I've gone out and gotten myself an Ipod and joined a place to work out. Which I do almost every day... which hasn't helped my weight even slightly. But, whatever. I'm enjoying it, it's peaceful and it's a good thing.

I've been having a good summer, all in all. But I can feel it slipping away. Fall is on the horizon!