Sunday, October 25, 2009


Why do so many people seem to WANT to be miserable?

Maybe it's all brain chemistry and hormones.

There is a pretty good case to be made for that, because there have been PMS days and weeks when I have been totally out of control of my emotions and my thoughts and I have been miserable, and I can't seem to stop the negative thoughts running through my head.

But lately, all that has settled down -- thank goodness -- and I'm back to being happy.

If it IS brain chemistry and hormones, can it be fixed?

I've heard the quote that "religion is the opiate of the masses." Maybe it was a better option. At least religion is a more positive opiate than, say, opium.

After experiencing an interesting day yesterday, I discovered something very interesting about myself.

When there is strife around me, I react with avoidance. (Well, at least this was true yesterday. Is it always true? Maybe.) I don't take notice. I pull the wool over my own eyes and change the subject. Especially when the strife doesn't really involve me anyway, when I'm just on the edge, watching someone else spiraling out of control. And especially when I know that there are no positive solutions or easy answers. And I stay in my own little happy world, with the sun shining and the wind blowing. And I forget it all as fast as I possibly can. 'Cause really, I'm pretty tired of that kind of thing.

But today, I am wondering, can people help themselves? Is the drama addictive? Is it beyond their control? Are they choosing to be miserable, or is it thrust upon them? They blame everyone else but themselves. They say, "I can't take this" or "It's not my fault" or "It's so HARD," or "You don't understand, it's never happened to you." I really hate that one, because... well, no, you can't really argue it, because it's true, but it's still just an excuse.

No one can solve anyone else's problems. Especially the big ones. I have to remember that. I don't even want to try anymore.

And I go back to dealing in my own little pollyana way.
Ignoring and avoiding whatever drama I can, I guess, and praying for what I can't ignore.


jozien said...

Great post Sue!
I wonder if i seem to gravitate towards strife, and than getting upset with the people who just want to be miserable. Because that, you hit it right on.

Sue said...

I hope I didn't sound too much like I'm complaining. I really don't mind listening to people who have problems, or whatever. But some people just seem to make such horrible choices... Saturday was just a bad day, I'll leave it at that...

Netizen101 said...

Dramas and problems are part and parcel of life. And most of the time we are the cause of them. Some people handle and / or cope with dramas and problems better than others. But at the end of the day, we are all better equiped to solve our problems than any one else.
The best that you can do for someone with a problem is just listen to their problems and offer an advice or two and leave it at that. Most of the time they won't follow your advice no matter how good they are. What these people really want is just someone to listen to them moan and bitch about their problems. You can be sure they know what the problem is and what they should do. They most probably have decided on their course of action.
The important thing is not to let their problem become your problem. :-)

Sue said...

Hi Netizen :)
Yes, I agree with what you say... and most of the time, like I said, I don't really mind. But watching someone making such horrible choices and really hitting the bottom of the barrel, and pulling other people down with her -- it's incredibly frustrating...