It was a beautiful day in New Jersey

 

A perfect day for hiking, climbing and shooting!

Venturing event...

 

Today, Nick and I went on our first Venturing activity -- a day trip to a camp in Northern New Jersey. The Venturing crew was allowed to shoot rifles and shotguns, and learned how to rock climb on rocks, not on a wall built to simulate rock climbing.

Nick just joined venturing. So far, I think he really likes it. I'm not surprised. It is a part of Boy Scouting, but it is different. It is more flexible, less oriented towards earning badges. It is more about doing the kind of adventurous stuff that the kids really want to do. Not to mention that it is only for the older kids -- 14 and up -- and girls are also invited. That has to help.

Nick declined to shoot; I don't think it is something he really is interested in too much. I shot the shotgun, though, and I think I hit the clay target. Well, maybe it was the other kid who was shooting who actually hit it.

Nick did make it up the mountain, and then repelled down. I decided against climbing. Just getting up to the cliff was hard enough... the cliff was located up a pretty steep hill. I had to skitch and slide down on my butt. I was a little petrified. Just a little.

Everyone had a great time. I think Venturing is going to be a really great opportunity...

College Shopping

It is lovely in Massachusetts right now, which is where we went for the last few days, shopping for colleges. It is really early so there was no pressure to decide. We went to see one really big college (Northeastern University) and one really small college (Franklin Olin College of Engineering.)

Both have great, and I mean GREAT, programs, as far as I can see. Frankie would be lucky to go to either school. He'd be lucky to get into Northeastern because it costs way more than we can afford, and about 30,000 people apply and only 3,800 get in every year... and he'd be lucky to get into Olin because the kids that go there are even smarter than he is -- the average GPA for new freshmen is 4.0, and the average SAT scores are something like 2200.

He couldn't decide which one he would like more. He might not go to either. But it was an interesting place to start looking.

We were going to look at MIT, too, but decided not to because it was raining and we didn't feel like taking a tour in the rain. Besides that, he knows he does NOT want to go to MIT. Too much pressure, I guess. So why go look at it in the rain? We were going to go look just for the sake of looking at it -- kinda the same way you go to a museum or something.

Nick was dragged around to look at the colleges too. Maybe he'll have a better idea what he wants to do when it is his turn to decide. Or maybe not.

I miss Halloween

I miss having my kids little. There is a toy commercial out there with little blonde boys riding on a tonka truck. Reminds me so totally of Nick at age 1, scooting around on the little tykes race car. Makes me want to have another baby. Which is precisely why I had that operation all those years ago -- so I couldn't go back in a moment of weakness and have another baby on an impulse. When you're done, you're done, and you just have to accept it.

Yesterday, as soon as we got home from his blood test, Frankie was back out again with the car... he really feels like a big deal, I guess, being able to drive when and where he wants to. Nick had to wait for me to give him a ride to trick or treat with his friends. But it's not like they needed me to trick or treat with!

I didn't go to the Halloween parade at school, either. I barely got dressed up -- I dressed normally for work, and then wore my witchy shirt with just a regular pair of jeans, not even a hat or funky makeup, when I got home. How lame is that? And I didn't make gingerbread -- I couldn't find it in shoprite, for some reason -- and I didn't buy (or make) a pineapple upside down cake. Which is one of my personal traditions. Even though I am the only one who would be eating it. Which is why I didn't try too hard.

I only saw one group of trick-or-treaters -- but it was a good group; a bunch of my kiddies from aftercare stopped at our house. They looked adorable!

On the good side, I had a nice evening with my husband, and we went out for a good dinner with wine. And I finished off a book -- the Pilot's Wife, which was really interesting. So it was a good day.

Trick or Treat!

glitter-graphics.com

Time flies when you are having fun!

The days are going by so fast that I'm getting dizzy! I could swear to you, it was Sunday only two days ago, not a whole week ago, and now it's Sunday again.

I thought I would post yesterday but I was in an organizing mood instead. Now that I'm working I don't have the leisure time I used to have. I used to be able to clean the house for a while, (OK, well, maybe just straighten, not actually clean) and then have plenty of time to play.

Now my life is rolling so quickly because it seems like all I have is a few minutes in between working, cooking, and laundry, before I have to go to bed again. And those extra few minutes -- which most people would probably use cleaning -- I prefer to surf the web, or lately read. Oh yeah, I also have time to go to scouts most weeks -- and I have been keeping up with a few tv shows. But HEY! I need to have SOME fun, don't I???

So what HASN't been happening around here is straightening or cleaning the house, and the "stuff" has been getting pretty deep. So yesterday I started cleaning, and so I didn't post.

Now, after you've been reading this whole thing, you're probably thinking to yourself -- who cares?

I know. It's really boring. I barely care myself. But I was about to drown in "stuff", so it's a good thing. Even if it is boring.

It would be more interesting if I could post a before and after picture, but I would be embarassed to have you see how bad it was. And for those of you who have been here before, you've gotta know that if it would embarass ME, it's BADDD!!!!

Anyway, I'll try to post something more interesting later. But right now, I feel like throwing more stuff away. And I've gotta act on that while I still feel the urge!

I like the moon

 

I don't know why. In the last few years, I've felt more of a relation to the moon.

My grandmother was Mohawk Iroquois.

My Grandmother decided... for some reason, now gone to the grave with her... that my indian name was going to be "Full Moon." I always disliked this as an indian name. It seemed too random. My Indian name was supposed to be meaningful, and Full Moon seemed to be not too meaningful. It seems like something picked at a moment's notice when my mother (being not an indian, but interested in her baby's heritage,) would have asked for an Indian name.

I never asked my Grandmother WHY my name was "full moon."

Anyway -- I'm more into the full moon lately, and I appreciate my name more now than I did when I was a child.

Cooking Demonstration

 

Cousin Joan, my Godmother, demonstrated cooking techniques from the old days.

Uncle Glen

 

Uncle Glen had his artifacts at the museum to demonstrate Mohawk (and a little Mic Mac) culture.

Winter Moon

 

 

 

October Beach Weather

 

It was a beautiful day yesterday, so we headed down to Point Pleasant. The surf was really pounding! It was nice and warm, although no one went swimming -- it wasn't THAT warm. I'm looking forward to fall, but a little more summer doesn't really hurt...

I guess I'm used to it.

I must be used to waking up at 5:30 now, even though it never FEELS like I'm used to it. Because this morning, even though I had three really large glasses of wine last night and felt groggy as anything, and even though I hadn't gotten to bed until sometime after 1:00 AM, and even though it was still dark, and even though my alarm clock wasn't on, I still sat bolt up right in bed at 5:30. Thinking I had to get up and go downstairs.

Still in the middle of a funk.

I'm still in the middle of a funky mood, but that's not to say that I'm actually depressed. Just funky.

I've decided that even though I THOUGHT the ages of the 50's would be the hardest, I was wrong. I'm entitled to be wrong, aren't I? Anyway, it seems that the 40's are a lot harder than I expected. Being 43 sucks. I thought middle age would be fine, but being 50, would be "old," which would be hard.

Being 40 turns out to be much more difficult because it isn't young anymore. But really, I don't feel old yet. But I am. I am old enough to be the parent of someone who is actually already an adult. I remember being 17, like Frankie is now. I was an adult. At least, I thought I was. Frankie is already an adult. Maybe not 100 % sensible, but certainly an adult.

I didn't count on being old before I actually FELT old. But I am and I do.

So here' s hoping that at age 50 I'll already be past all this bull shit, old enough to know better, young enough not to care... for real.

Wednesday Hump Day

As everyone knows, Wednesday is the hump day of the week. And that makes Wednesday Morning the absolute worst part of the week because it's an up hill climb over the hump.

So now it's Wednesday at noon. Is that the peak of the week, because it's all down hill from here? Doesn't feel like it. Still feels like a hump to me.

Who was the guy eternally condemned to push a boulder up hill, only to have it roll back down when he reached the top -- was that Sisyphus or something? I'll have to google that later.

Happy hump day.

Into the Wild -- the book...

I just finished reading "Into the Wild", a non-fictional story. I read the book because I saw the movie, and I saw the movie because Eddie Vedder did the sound track. It all comes back to Pearl Jam, right? Actually, though, I am really glad I read the book, and it has nothing to do with Pearl Jam.

The sound track is great. I've had it on heavy rotation for a few weeks already. It's not so much "hard" rock as other Pearl Jam stuff is. It's rather haunting and melodic or something.

The movie was great too. It had some beautiful, amazing cinematography, gorgeous scenery. It isn't getting any screen time near my house, or I would go see it again. It isn't the kind of thing that most people want to go see for light entertainment. Not a lot of dialog, not the "shoot 'em up" kind of action, although I would say there was a lot of action... Not the happily ever after kind of ending that you would like, because it was TRUE. What you got was a true to life ending.

I couldn't imagine what the book was going to be like, because the movie was so visual. There was a very strong underlining meaning, but I really didn't understand how what I saw (and heard) was going to be worded in a book.

In spite of the fact that I heard the sound track and THEN saw the movie, and THEN read the book, the book really did come first. I wish I had read the book first. There was a lot of philosophy in the book that came across in the movie, but in a simplified way. I got so much more out of the book. I can't wait to see the movie again!

Using blurry photos

 

Whenever I get a photo that I really like, except for the fact that it is really blurry, I like to play with it in Picasa so I can make it look funky. Why trash a perfectly good photo, when I can make it look like I meant for that to happen?

I like this one better now than I did when I took it. Sometimes I'm into a slightly psychedelic look.

Where is AUTUMN?

Yup, I'm still stressing, in case anyone is wondering. (see previous post.)

Anyways... I wanted to write SOMETHING, so usually when you don't know what ELSE to talk about, the weather is a safe topic.

It's October 11th and it's still kinda hot out. What's with the weather? I'm ready for fall already!

The trees around here are still mostly green. All of my plants -- even the weeds -- look chewed up by bugs. I'd like a few crisp fall days now, thank you very much! Then I can start to get into a halloween frame of mind.

I should pull out the halloween decorations. But it still feels like September.

Everything on the Internet is an OPEN BOOK.

I sometimes have these vaguely paranoid feelings. Everyone dislikes me, they are laughing at me behind my back, they are talking about me. These feelings are very hormonal, I think. (And about half the time, I think they are accurate. Everyone really is laughing at me. The other half, I figure no one is really interested enough in my problems and what I am doing, because they are too worried about themselves. Both halves are probably correct.)

Sometimes, I am worried about things going on in my life that I don't know how to control. The things I am worried about go around and around in my mind, and I can't think about much else. I tend to be a very boring conversationalist when this is happening.

Sometimes, because of the stress and the paranoid feelings creeping over me, I want to write a ton of stuff here about what I'm worried about -- or what I did -- or didn't do -- to get some feedback from someone who will tell me I'm NOT an idiot, or I'm right to be stressed out, or whatever. And I really enjoy writing on the blog, and I would love to unload a whole lot of stress here on the web. Have I got STORIES for YOU!

BUT... BUT... BUT... I have to keep remembering that here on the internet everything is public record. And I really don't want to write anything that will be inappropriate and linked to my name for ever. Or anything that will let all of YOU people know why I am an idiot, so you can laugh at me too. Or bore you to tears with MY problems, when I know everyone has their own problems.

And I don't want to complain or stress about my kids, because then THEY might read it and stress themselves.

So some days, I have a lot to say, but I can't really post it. But since it's all I can think about, I can't really post anything else, either.

I thought I needed a photo here.

 

So even though it's not a full moon tonight, I'm posting this one.
I need to take more photos tomorrow,I think. If the camera battery isn't dead.

Lurking

I must admit, I am a lurker.
Lurking is what you are doing when you are reading people's websites but not commenting. Not letting them know you are there.
I love to surf the web, from one site to another. Blogs, web sites, shopping, music, my space, you tube. I'm all over the place.

Usually, I would like to comment. But when I start to write something, for some reason everything I start to write sounds wrong. Often I just give up on commenting when I lurk. Especially when there are already a hundred other comments there.



I surfed in to this web site:
DUTCHCORNER: Treasure to share#links#links#links
which is a site full of beautiful thoughts ...
and found this poem by Khalil Gibran, which is very appropriate for my children, who are getting old...

CHILDREN
By Kahlil Gibran


And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of children."
And he said: Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable


It is a beautiful poem. I didn't find it, Marje from Dutch Corner did. I had heard that one line before, "You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth..." But I had never read the complete poem.

Anyway, I did comment this time... but I'm not good at that. So if you find me lurking at your site, please realize it's usually not because I don't like your stuff -- I don't comment because I really don't know what to say.

Crohn's Research Info

The article that follows is information about the new information they are getting about how and why Crohn's works. Since we did the walk-a-thon, I believe we've helped pay for some of these advances -- and I thought I would let you all know! Here is YOUR money at work!
THANK YOU!

Crohn's Research Info

Research - The Latest News
Third Quarter, 2007

Dear friends,

In recent months, we've gained additional important insights into the specifics of how Crohn's disease develops. Having identified many of the genes, immune factors, and bacteria that combine to cause the disease, we're now beginning to understand how these "disease partners" actually work.


Let's look at this emerging picture from several viewpoints:

Bacteria: Normally, the colon and the lower portion of the small intestine are "colonized" by a complex variety of bacteria, viruses, and fungi—collectively called the microbiota. Most of these are harmless, but occasionally, a bacterium can undergo a change and become virulent. Researchers are beginning to understand precisely how a common bug like E. coli can turn aggressive, and how it manages to attach itself to and invade the cells lining the small intestine where it can trigger Crohn's disease in genetically susceptible people.


Immune Dysfunction: Once virulent bacteria invade the intestinal cells, the immune system typically kicks in and mounts an attack to clear them. That's what happens if you're healthy. But if you're genetically predisposed to Crohn's disease, your immune system may get its signals crossed and overreact, leading to uncontrolled inflammation, or conversely, fail to kill the invader, leading to persistent infection.
As we've recently come to understand it, the immune dysfunction seen in Crohn's disease may manifest itself as:

1. a decrease in a person's ability to kill bacteria;
2. an overactive T cell response to bacteria and bacterial antigens;
3. an inability to tolerate the presence of commonly tolerated bacteria; or
3. changes in the intestinal cells that make it easier for bacteria to attach to them.

Genetics: Interestingly, the most recent gene to be implicated in Crohn's disease is ATG16L1, which codes for a protein involved in a process known as autophagy. The word "autophagy" literally means "eating oneself." In biology, it can be understood as the digestion within a cell of materials produced by that cell or from a bacterium engulfed by the cell. In people who have an abnormal variant of ATG16L1, the immune cells responsible for killing bacteria may not be up to the job, and bacteria may resist being destroyed.
The discovery of ATG16L1 fits almost uncannily with recent insights into what goes awry in at least some types of Crohn's disease. A defect in ATG16L1 may lead to problems with autophagy, while a defect in NOD2—the first Crohn's susceptibility gene to be discovered, in 2001—may impair the ability to kill bacteria through another route: by causing a deficit in the secretion of defensins, proteins that specialize in bacterial killing. These two genetic defects correlate with two different routes into the development of Crohn's disease, and with the new molecular insights described above.

It is hoped that a more detailed picture of the biology of Crohn's disease and ulcerative colitis will shape the search for improved therapies. The more we understand about the many factors that lead to the uncontrolled inflammation seen in these diseases, the more we can target "upstream," pre-inflammatory processes for treatment and nip inflammation in the bud.

Clinical News: One highly promising treatment for Crohn's disease, called natalizumab, has received preliminary endorsement by the FDA's advisory panel and is awaiting final approval. Natalizumab is an antibody against alpha-4 integrin, a protein involved with the recruitment of immune cells to the site of inflammation. Natalizumab blocks that recruitment process, thus short-circuiting the inflammatory response.
If approved, the new drug could be a welcome alternative for people who have not responded well to anti-TNF agents. Currently approved for the treatment of multiple sclerosis (MS), natalizumab was briefly taken off the market because three people developed progressive multifocal leukoencephalopathy (PML), a rare brain infection, while taking the drug. For this reason, natalizumab is being used in a very select group of patients with MS who are being monitored very closely for side effects. It will be used similarly in people with Crohn's disease if it receives final FDA approval.

The drug's safety issues have drawn attention to a far broader problem: the anti-inflammatory therapeutic strategy itself. By damping down inflammation, a key function of the immune system, the medications used to treat inflammatory diseases may put patients at risk for infection. The risk may be small, but we should and can do better.

All in all, the news is encouraging. We've already got the big picture, and now we're homing in on the details. And the details are what we need to more fully understand if we're going to find our way to better treatments and, perhaps sooner rather than later, a cure. Please continue to support our efforts to the greatest extent you can. The quality of life of millions of people depends on it.


R. Balfour Sartor, M.D.
Chief Medical Advisor
Crohn's & Colitis Foundation

Campfire

 

Happy 17th Birthday, Frankie!

 
Frankie is 17 years old today.

Actually, this photo was taken yesterday. I decided to have his cake yesterday, the day before his birthday, because today he was taking his drivers test. I assumed that if he PASSED his test, he might not want to be home. And if he FAILED his test, he wouldn't want to talk to anyone.

Well, he passed.

(gulp.)

On the plus side, he did stay home. His friends are all busy anyway, it is a Tuesday night after all.

By the way -- the wine in the glass in front of him isn't his. I'm not letting him drink. It's mine. I'll be needing more wine now, I think.

Moonflower

 

Feather in Grass

 

I really like this photo. I was surprised at how much I liked it. I'm in an artsy mood today, having just gone browsing through three art galleries and innumerable antique shops in Frenchtown and Lambertville.

Although I must say, it doesn't come out as well on the blog as it does in a larger view on my screen in picasa.

Studying on the train.

 

Compare and contrast socialism and capitalism. Labor unions. Taft and Roosevelt. The progressive reforms. And, last but not least, the 16, 17, 18, and 19 amendments to the constitution.
I wasn't studying, I was quizzing Frankie.

Times Square

 
Hey there, Delilah.
Notice the labor strike above Frank's head, below the Panasonic sign?
What does that MEAN?

Waiting for the SHOW

 
Why didn't we get a picture with Tim???

OK, the question was raised -- who is Tim? You can visit Tim at his blog at Donnelly Ink. He's the guy in the music biz who we got to know when Frankie was sick, through a friend of a friend of a friend, who knows Eddie Vedder well enough to ask him to call Frankie -- and have Eddie actually call.

RED CARPET PREMIERE!!!

 

The other day, we got a call out of the blue from Tim Donnelly, who let us know that the recent Pearl Jam DVD -- which he had helped collaborate on -- was being released (which we already knew, of course) -- at a Super Cool premiere in Manhattan at the Ziegfield Theater. He wanted to know if we wanted to go. (Look at these pictures again, and Take a guess.)

The first consideration -- work/school. I'm waking up at such an ungodly hour now (5:30) that I've been going to bed super early. OK, I was fine with that, I can sleep on the train.

Then, Frank's work -- he was definitely interested. He figured he could get out of work on time to make it home and then to the train and then to the theater.

Then, school. It was "back to school night." I wouldn't get to meet the teachers. Not a problem, now that I work there. I can talk to them any time I want to.

Nick had no problem with being out late. He has very light classes this semester. At least, that's what he tells me so far. We'll see how the report card comes in.

The minor sticking point was Frankie. He had a lab report due for physics, and a test in history. But, of course, this was a PEARL JAM movie. So he was in.


We called Tim when we got into the city, and finally had the opportunity to meet him. He was very nice and even gave us the DVD (which we had already ordered, but now Frankie can have his own copy.) Afterwards, we thought to ourselves -- we are such idiots! We should have had him autograph it!

Actually, now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, the director, Danny Clinch, was there as well. We could have had him autograph it too. Oh well.

The theater was GORGEOUS. And we sat down in front, which was great from a concert movie perspective, although I would have liked to see how the audience was reacting, but I couldn't bring myself to turn around.

The movie was beautifully done, great music, beautiful cinematography -- is that how you spell that? Definitely worth it.

Tim mentioned that it was a big day for him, because not only was this project coming out, but on the same day the other disc he was working on -- "Goin' Home, a tribute to Fats Domino" -- was being released. We've ordered that disc too.

We felt like hot shot rock and roll type people, rubbing elbows with the rich and famous. Funny enough, when I got home I checked my email. We had a note from Make-a-Wish, inviting us to go on a Yacht tonight. They would even provide transportation.

We had to turn THAT offer down. I can't take too much of this jet set lifestyle!

Ok, how about this???

Will this work?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UDorNilxPUY

Uptown Wednesday Night

 
Frank and I took a walk up town tonight, and this is what we saw... except, of course, for the last picture, which is a rainbow I saw the other night.

I posted these in kind of reverse order... I took the photos on the way UP town, not on the way back home. You get the idea, though.

Going up town

 
Under the underpass, heading up to Oak Tree Road.

The corner by Flips, right before the underpass

 

I love the streaky lights.
But this is a really bad intersection. I hate to drive through here.

This is also by the Iselin Fair grounds, which are now mini-mansion lots.

Flips

 
Does anyone recognize Flip's? It used to be a bar. I think before that it was a stage coach house. It was right by the railroad station, before the station moved.

Which leads to the next two questions: What was the name of the OTHER bar, besides the Pioneer, Flips, and Jack and Earls?
and number two: WHERE was Jack and Earl's, exactly? I say it was actually on the corner, diagonal from the old Iselin Theater. Frank says no, it was on the bend right before the light by St. Cecelia's.
Please reply.

There's no place like home!

 

This was taken at home the other evening. It was really humid. I didn't notice the rainbow, but Frank did. I ran in and got the camera... this is not re-touched in any way! (I'll retouch a future one, I think, just to try to intensify it.)

Alphabet meme

OK, so PS Tagged everyone on her blogroll to do this meme. I decided to try it. I've never done a meme before.

I am required by the rules of the meme to tag someone else to do it -- so Sandi and Beth, if you are up to the challenge, consider yourself tagged!

The rules are:
Rule 1: Without changing the first word, after each letter of the alphabet, write a sentence that captures you/your essence.
Rule 2: Tag as many people as you want, but do tag at least one. This is an eye opening experience and can express to those who read it, things about you that they did not really understand before.
Rule 3: List who you are tagging.


*A* Accept everyone for who they are
*B* Break away and take some time for yourself
*C* Create because life is art
*D* Decide not to decide is deciding
*E* Explore the whole world through a book
*F* Forgive yourself for not being everything you should be
*G* Grow a garden of weeds if you like them!
*H* Hope is a feather
*I* Ignore the inner voice telling you what an idiot you are! :)
*J* Journey Time for a road trip!
*K* Know what you need.
*L* Love Loving others is easy -- in the abstract
*M* Manage to survive
*N* Notice the sky
*O* Open that bottle of wine and pour me a glass!
*P* Play let's pretend
*Q* Question reality
*R* Relax and recharge
*S* Share you can't have any if you don't have enough to share!
*T* Try a little harder.
*U* Use what you have to work with. What would McGyver do?
*V* Value yourself
*W* Work is a four letter word!
*X* X-ray vision is not a super power I would want!
*Y* Yield I hate to yield, I'd much rather merge.
*Z* Zoom was a great tv show when we were kids, remember?