Elderly Woman Behind a Counter in a Small Town

This is the first song I ever loved by Pearl Jam.


I first listened to this song because Frank told me about it. He said it reminded him of my Grandmother. Gram DeSanto, not Gram Rodgers. At the time, she was in a coma. She died not long after.

"I seem to recognize your face...
haunting, familiar, but I can't seem to place it.
Can I find a candle of thought to light your name...
lifetimes, they're catching up with me..."

But I always think of her when I hear this song. (Of course, I'm not sure what Eddie was thinking when he wrote it. Most people seem to remember this song as part of their youth, and identify with it that way. I'm not in that age group. It wasn't part of my youth.)

"All these changes taking place,
I wish I'd seen the place, but no one's ever taken me....
Hearts and thoughts, they fade... fade away."

I'm going to be writing about Gram DeSanto in upcoming blog posts, because it would have been her birthday. And because just a few days ago, I realized that I am actually older now than she was when I was born. So I could be a grandmother already.

I'm really ready to be a grandmother. I'm CERTAINLY not ready for my kids to have kids, but I'm ready for grandbabies.

"I swear I recognize your breath...
memories like fingerprints are slowly raising.
Me, you wouldn't recall, for I'm not my former...
it's hard when you're stuck up on the shelf....
I've changed by not changing at all, small town predicts my fate
Perhaps that's what no one wants to see

I just want to scream

hello

My God it's been so long -- never dreamed you'd return.
But now, here you are, and here I am.
Hearts and thoughts they fade... away..."